Dar es Salaam Diary

Well! I am back in Tanzania after 3 weeks rest and relaxation (and overeating) in the good old U.S. of A. My journey to the States was long, but relatively painless. I flew direct from Dar to London (about 10 hours) where I spent the night with a friend (and former housemate here in TZ). I experienced a minor panic attack upon leaving Heathrow Airport. I find London to be rather overwhelming in general, and I also had this irrational urge to go up to everyone I saw and explain to them that I'd just spent 8 months in Africa so they would understand just how much like a fish out of water I was feeling.

My immediate reaction to landing on American soil was less dramatic. As I explained to a former coworker in DC, I had been in Tanzania long enough to adjust to the culture here, but I had not been gone from the States long enough to completely forget the culture there... Still, I did have a few moments of "reverse culture shock." The escalator at the Dupont Circle metro station in DC induced a mild case of vertigo, as did the swirling crowds at Union Station. (Who are all these white people?!!)

I was also struck many times at how much stuff there is in the States - the bounty of food in the grocery stores, the infinity of shops selling outrageously priced clothing and completely useless objects, and the billboards and TV and print ads convincing one of the dire need for the outrageously priced clothing and useless objects. As I've said before, I'm not exactly roughing it here in Tanzania, but I am living a bit more simply, and getting on just fine. The notion that consumerism culture preys upon our insecurities (and creates new ones) certainly rings true. After a few weeks in the States (especially the last one in New York City) I couldn't help but feel a bit inadequate about the fact that I didn't have (and could not afford to buy) the latest, coolest clothes and things. Would I not be a slightly better person if I owned a pair of skinny jeans? Isn't my 2004 iPod hopelessly clunky and out-of-date?!

Despite these nagging flickers of self-doubt, I can report that I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home. In addition to catching up with people that I love and have missed greatly, it was delicious to walk down a busy street and be completely unnoticed, to wander through bookstores and sit in cafes, to take long walks in the park with my dog... And then of course there was the food! Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, but this year it was even more delicious. I also indulged in baked goods and Thai and Mexican... Unfortunately, this indulgence is now evident in the bit of added girth that I brought back with me to Tanzania. I have already been told by a coworker that I gained weight (a compliment here, but still!) and more tellingly, popped a button on my skirt! Given the fact that I can't exactly hide under a bulky sweater at the beach, I think I had better head back to the gym.

So, in terms of "reverse reverse culture shock," the thing I have been most struck by upon my return to Tanzania is the heat. Dear god. It is SO HOT. And I'm in for 3 months of this, if not more!!! I've also managed to experience a blackout at the airport (tho only for a few seconds while I was waiting in line at customs, so it was more amusing than inconvenient) and there hasn't been any running water at home. (See above comment about living simply!) I'm afraid I've lost my touch w/ the bucket shower, so feel as if parts of me are still covered with a thin film of soap. Add to that the thin film of sweat that is pretty unavoidable in tropical climes, and well, yeah, it's pretty gross.

That said, I do feel happy to be back. By the end of my visit to the U.S., I was ready to come back to a place where I had more of a purpose, a routine, and a community of people with whom I share a context. I'm still not quite sure where "home" is, but for now, Dar is feeling pretty good. A bit sticky, but good.