Dar es Salaam Diary

Well! Today is my one-year anniversary of living in Tanzania. It's funny - on the one hand the time has absolutely flown by, and I find it rather hard to believe that it's already been a whole year. But then on the other hand, I really do feel pretty well-adjusted and settled here. In many ways, I find my life here to be a bit surreal, but it's still my life.

In thinking about the significance of this milestone, I am reminded of a friend's New Year's ritual. Rather than making New Year's Resolutions, this friend looks for New Year's Revelations - things she's learned over the past year that have some effect on her outlook for the coming year (at least that's how I interpret it). So, forgive this bit of navel-gazing, but I would like to share my One-Year-in-Dar Revelations with you, in terms of three main themes...

Learning. I have learned an incredible amount in the past year - about Tanzania, about the business of 'development,' about America's place in the world, and about myself. I have found that a number of things that I took for granted are simply not true. Or at least not as black and white. What the hell am I talking about? Well, take 'development.' I think in the West (the Global North? What's the PC terms these days?) it's easy to assume that the main issue behind global inequality and injustice is that some countries have a lot of money and some countries have very little money. So the clear solution would appear to be to have the richer countries give the poorer countries some money. I must admit I subscribed to this rather simplistic view. But living in a 'developing' country (in case you can't tell, I kind of hate that term) you realize there are so many other factors at play, and that the whole business of development is characterized by a lot of arrogance, and perhaps something more sinister. This is not to say that there aren't people with good intentions, but it can just feel very patronizing. And when you think about it, the development business has no incentive to make poverty history (Thanks, Bono.) since then there would be no more use for the development business! Especially in the current lingo of the World Bank (where all citizens are considered to be "clients"), it really doesn't make good business sense to get rid of poverty.

Another eye-opener has been the politicization of civil society in Tanzania (and I think it's safe to assume in a lot of poorer countries). What I mean by this is that the civil society sector has been in large part artificially created. Why? Well, richer countries did not want to give their money to corrupt governments to squander, so they poured money into a parallel sector, which would presumably be more accountable. But what this has meant is that civil society often gets dismissed as being constrained by external priorities, which creates a difficult environment for groups that represent more 'organic' priorities. Also, non-governmental organizations (NGOs), and especially international NGOs (such as CARE, World Vision, ActionAid, VSO, etc.) tend to pay much better than local organizations or government jobs, so they suck away a bunch of qualified people.

Yikes! I fear I must appear rather cynical at this point. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention some of the good things I've learned too... My eyes have also been opened to the abundance of natural beauty in this country. The white-sand beaches along the coast, and lush green landscapes to the north, which contrast with red, red earth, and blue skies that offer glimpses of majestic Mount Meru and Mount Kilimanjaro. It's also just been great to get to talk to people and gain an understanding of how they think about politics, relationships, education...

I can't say that I've learned that despite all our differences and distances we are all the same. If anything, I've learned more about the ways in which culture and context make it harder to find common ground. But trying to relate to people from a different culture/context, while not always easy, has its rewards.

Friends. I have made some wonderful, close friendships in the past year. Being so far from home, and family and friends, one sort of has to build a support system from scratch. I think this helps to explain the intensity of the friendships that I have been fortunate to form while in Dar. It can be a bit hard, since the community is rather transient, but I do have faith that some of the friends I've made here will remain in my life after we leave Dar.

One thing that has been disappointing is the lack of Tanzanians in my close circle of friends. This goes back to the difficulties I've experienced in terms of relating to people who come from such a different context. But sometimes it honestly feels like a moral failing. I try to remember that it's a two-sided thing. While I could certainly push myself to go further outside of my comfort zone, in some ways I think Tanzanian culture is just relatively closed, and if other people aren't making the effort, then it's not entirely my "fault."

Home. As I said at the outset of this post, I really feel pretty settled here. And while I miss my family and friends and certain aspects of the U.S. and Western culture, I do not wish I were back in the States right now. In fact, I sometimes experience a feeling of relief that I'm not there. The current political situation, the emphasis on consumerism, the (relative) lack of community... I'm glad to be away from it! But at the same time, I can't say I completely consider Tanzania my home, and I don't see myself settling down here for good.

So, what next? At this point, I really have no idea. My boss just explained that he's trying to find a nice Tanzanian man for me to marry so that I'll have to stick around longer then another year. Not sure about that but it's nice to feel appreciated, I suppose! OK, I must be off and finish up some work (it is Saturday after all) and then raise a glass to myself. Happy Anniversary to me!

(Lots of new photos on Flickr... check out scenes from the Zanzibar Music Fest, our rocking Mardi Gras party, and a night out in Dar!)